When I was in girl scouts, we were taught a song. It went like this, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." I remember that we used to stand in a circle and sing it at the end of every girl scout meeting.
However now at 24, I realize that that song can't be true. You have to let go of old friends. You have to move on from them when you feel they aren't good for you anymore. You admit defeat and you move on. You find new friends. Sometimes, they're better. Sometimes, they're not. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a short while and others for your whole life. You have to do what's right for you and not get bogged down by what others think of you.
This is particularly relevant for me tonight. When I was at Harlaxton, I met a girl named Mary. She and I became good friends. We hung out together. We went out at night to the clubs (with other people too). We ate all of our meals together. You would think we were really good friends. We even managed to stay in contact after Harlaxton (which if you knew me, you would know is kind of a miracle!). I thought she was going to be a forever friend.
While we were at Harlaxton, she met a boy. He seemed ok when I first met him (which was a month after they had met), but as time went on, I stopped liking him. Whenever she asked me for my opinion, I told her that I didn't like him. A few weeks ago, she text me and said that there was a time when it was easy to not care about me because of the things I said about him. It really hurt my feelings.
Tonight she text me. I text her back saying that her saying it was easy not to care about me really hurt my feelings and I needed some time away from her. She made a big deal out of it, and eventually, I told her that she needed to stop texting me because I didn't want to be her friend anymore. She kept going on and on about how horrible a friend I am. That I'm not as much of a princess as I think I am. That I'm a bridezilla. I need to not force Gareth to marry me. That she thinks I'm rushing things and that she's not the only one that thinks so. She told me to piss off and to fuck off. I eventually told her, "Thank you for your opinion." After that, I stopped answering any of her texts. She sent me a few more about what a rotten friend I am. That Ashley (the now ex-boyfriend she met at Harlaxton)never liked me either so now we're even (not her exact words because she apparently can't type her words herself and has to use T9). I read them.
I'll be honest. The things she said really hurt at first. Then I talked to my mom. My mom is the most amazing woman in my life. She said that I needed to stop second guessing myself (I asked her if I had made the right decision). She also told me something that really struck home. She told me that I was letting other people's opinions get to me too much. I wanted to talk to my friend Jennifer because I know that she's the only person Mary could be talking about when she said that she's not the only one that thinks so. I wanted to talk to her and ask her, but I decided against it. Jenni and I are going to be sisters eventually. I have to stop taking so much to heart if we're going to continue being friends afterwards. My mom asked me if it really matters what Jenni thinks. I thought about it for a second and realized that it didn't. The only person's opinion about my relationship that I need to consider is my fiance's. After all, he's the one that I'm committing my life to. I've decided I'm going to talk to him about it. I need to make sure that he's ready to marry me. I need to make sure that he doesn't feeling like I'm forcing him to marry me.
The greatest thing about tonight: Soon everything Mary said tonight will just be a memory that won't hurt anymore. I did what was best for me. I think I did the right thing. I know Gareth will think I did the right thing. There's no else whose opinion matters so much to me.
