Old Friends

When I was in girl scouts, we were taught a song. It went like this, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." I remember that we used to stand in a circle and sing it at the end of every girl scout meeting.
However now at 24, I realize that that song can't be true. You have to let go of old friends. You have to move on from them when you feel they aren't good for you anymore. You admit defeat and you move on. You find new friends. Sometimes, they're better. Sometimes, they're not. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a short while and others for your whole life. You have to do what's right for you and not get bogged down by what others think of you.
This is particularly relevant for me tonight. When I was at Harlaxton, I met a girl named Mary. She and I became good friends. We hung out together. We went out at night to the clubs (with other people too). We ate all of our meals together. You would think we were really good friends. We even managed to stay in contact after Harlaxton (which if you knew me, you would know is kind of a miracle!). I thought she was going to be a forever friend.
While we were at Harlaxton, she met a boy. He seemed ok when I first met him (which was a month after they had met), but as time went on, I stopped liking him. Whenever she asked me for my opinion, I told her that I didn't like him. A few weeks ago, she text me and said that there was a time when it was easy to not care about me because of the things I said about him. It really hurt my feelings.
Tonight she text me. I text her back saying that her saying it was easy not to care about me really hurt my feelings and I needed some time away from her. She made a big deal out of it, and eventually, I told her that she needed to stop texting me because I didn't want to be her friend anymore. She kept going on and on about how horrible a friend I am. That I'm not as much of a princess as I think I am. That I'm a bridezilla. I need to not force Gareth to marry me. That she thinks I'm rushing things and that she's not the only one that thinks so. She told me to piss off and to fuck off. I eventually told her, "Thank you for your opinion." After that, I stopped answering any of her texts. She sent me a few more about what a rotten friend I am. That Ashley (the now ex-boyfriend she met at Harlaxton)never liked me either so now we're even (not her exact words because she apparently can't type her words herself and has to use T9). I read them.
I'll be honest. The things she said really hurt at first. Then I talked to my mom. My mom is the most amazing woman in my life. She said that I needed to stop second guessing myself (I asked her if I had made the right decision). She also told me something that really struck home. She told me that I was letting other people's opinions get to me too much. I wanted to talk to my friend Jennifer because I know that she's the only person Mary could be talking about when she said that she's not the only one that thinks so. I wanted to talk to her and ask her, but I decided against it. Jenni and I are going to be sisters eventually. I have to stop taking so much to heart if we're going to continue being friends afterwards. My mom asked me if it really matters what Jenni thinks. I thought about it for a second and realized that it didn't. The only person's opinion about my relationship that I need to consider is my fiance's. After all, he's the one that I'm committing my life to. I've decided I'm going to talk to him about it. I need to make sure that he's ready to marry me. I need to make sure that he doesn't feeling like I'm forcing him to marry me.
The greatest thing about tonight: Soon everything Mary said tonight will just be a memory that won't hurt anymore. I did what was best for me. I think I did the right thing. I know Gareth will think I did the right thing. There's no else whose opinion matters so much to me.

Parents

"There are just some things you should never include include other people in, no matter who they are."

I posted the above quote as my status on facebook earlier today. I don't know if it's an original quote or not, but it has a lot of truth for me right now.
Gareth is coming on Saturday for a visit. He'll be here for a whole two weeks. Ordinarily, I would have followed up such a statement with a million exclamation points. However, I'm really not excited about him coming anymore. There are two people who are responsible for me feeling this way: his parents.
I guess before I go to much further, I should start this story as all other stories start: at the beginning.
Gareth and I have talked about getting engaged for a while now. We had decided on a nice, big wedding in 2014 at Harlaxton Manor. It was going to be absolutely gorgeous. While we still have that dream (or something similar anyway), we made one little change. We decided that the best way to save money would be to go ahead and get married while he's here in January.
There are lots of reasons why we decided this. We love each. We're going to get married anyway. We just want to be a normal couple and do normal couple things. My life wouldn't be on hold anymore while we are in this relationship. It would have been a wonderful thing to become his wife. In fact, I was really looking forward to it.
Gareth originally wasn't going to say anything to his parents about getting married. However, I looked at it from the point of view that if I had a child and he/she got married and didn't tell me, I would be hurt. I pushed and I pushed him to tell his parents. He kept asking me if I was sure I wanted him to tell them, and I kept saying yes. So, he told them. Instead of being supportive like I thought they would be, they were the complete opposite. Neither one said congratulations or we're happy for you. His mom told him that he had to tell his dad. Then when he did tell his dad, his dad went on and on about getting a prenup and all this other stuff. Gareth just sat there and listened. He didn't say one word to his dad about what his dad was saying.
We were on Skype together when he told his parents. When he told me what his parents said, I was absolutely heart broken. I just couldn't believe that they weren't immediately supportive of their son. It made me feel like I was some girl Gareth could buy with his money or something. Really. I started crying because I was so hurt they though of me as not being good enough for their soon.
So now, I'm not going to become his Mrs in January. I know it's only 6 months difference, but I was so looking forward to being his wife, to starting our lives together. Now, his parents have ripped that away from me, and I don't know what to do. I feel like my life instead of being on pause is on stop. Everything just hurts, and I don't even know if I want to be with Gareth anymore; not when he can't even defend our relationship to his parents.