Please Cheer Me Up?

I'm feeling really down right now. I know my last couple of posts have been really down too, but that's just the mood I've been in lately. I know why, and I should be honest. How else can I give an accurate portrayal of my life? A bunch of you may remember that my so called friend Sean got married. Well, I saw him on Saturday for the first time in a VERY long time. There was drinking and other things going on since it was a party. I'll admit, I had a few drinks, but nothing like I've had in the past. We played a drinking game called Fuck the Dealer and just pretty much hung out. I missed the last dances, luckily. At one point, I went outside and Sean was there. Ordinarily, this would mean nothing. It usually means that we're both outside smoking. Only recently, I've started to try quitting. Yay for me! So I'm outside because I always eventually feel a little claustrophobic when there's a lot of people. He and another girl start talking, and she says something about him being drunk. Me being tipsy apparently decides that this would be a good time to tell him that I need to talk to him LATER. I emphasis later because I think that's the part that most needs to be emphasized. Anyway, he says ok. Then he starts going off about how Amber is right. I shouldn't even be at the party. Uh, Amber never said anything to me about being at the party. The only thing she had said is was, "How do you know this guy?" (It was a going away party for a guy that they didn't even really know.) I didn't know it was a closed party so when Carrie told me about it, I asked if I could go with her. She said yeah. She would ask a couple of our mutual friends. They said it was cool if I went so I went to the party. I told him that I didn't know it was a closed party otherwise I wouldn't have been there. Then he said that if it had been an open party, he would've invited me. I started getting really upset I guess because I said next I didn't know it was a closed party. If I had known that, I wouldn't be there. I basically repeated myself. He just ok. Then went off about why he didn't invite me to the wedding.
I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT NOT BEING AT HIS WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I really cared about was that I be told about it. I didn't want to have to find out on facebook. That's what hurts the most. I understand about small weddings. I understand about weddings being family and close friends only. I really do. My sister is having one of those. I get why I wasn't one of the two people he could invite. I just wanted to be told. I could handle this situation so much better if I had only been told.
Anyway after Sean told me all the shit that he can spout out and I finally tire of hearing it, I just turn and walk away. I don't know if he was in mid-sentence or not. All I know is that I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to listen . I couldn't listen anymore. I was getting so upset that I just could not listen anymore. I walk away. Tears started pouring down my face. I try to compose myself, and I realize that I have to get away. With tears still streaming down my face, I have to walk through a crowd of people to get away. I walk away towards the side of the house. I sit down on this little wall that's there, and I see people walking towards me. My heart silently hopes that maybe one of them is Sean. Of course it's not. It's my friends Mary Lee and Carrie. They've come to make sure I'm ok. I tell them that I'm done. I'm through with being concerned with him. I eventually start to draw a little crowd of supporters for me. The people there don't even try to defend Sean. Mary Lee's fiance even tells me that he hates Sean. A couple of guys are even int he crowd and tell me that all guys are douches. Slowly, I'm starting to believe this more and more. I just can't deal with it anymore. I really can't. I need to get out. I need to find a way out of this labyrinth.