Need You Now

"It's a quarter after one. I'm all alone, and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control, and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now."
-Lady Antebellum

So this morning as I was walking to my group project (see previous post), I started singing in the middle of the sidewalk. There was nobody around me, but how weird is that?

Every time I listen to that Lady Antebellum song, I think of Chris. It has been a very Chris-ified day it seems. How can he still have so much of an impact of my life? I honestly think he is the reason why I can't get close to this guy that I've been talking to. It's like I'm forever irreversibly linked to Chris, and nobody can do anything to change that. I've tried talking to other guys, but they just don't give off the same chemistry that Chris did. It's so weird. Why can't I just let him go? I need to let him go. There are other guys out there that might be more perfect for me than him, but he will always be in the back of my mind.

I've been trying to write a story about him for about a month now. Not necessarily him, but rather, my relationship with him while I was in England. I'm able to write about the night that we met. I can even add in some details of our relationship, but I can't write an ending. I've tried writing endings where he comes back to me. I've tried writing where we just fall apart, but that doesn't work either. It's like my life is on pause until I see him again and know for sure what our ending is. Until then, I don't think I will be able to end my story. I know what ending I want to have, but I don't know if it's realistic. I don't know how the story of me and Chris really ends so I can't write the ending of the written version of me and Chris. Maybe, maybe one day I will be able to write the ending because maybe one day there will be an official ending. Maybe it will be an official beginning. There are so many possibilities if I ever get to see him again.

OK. That's it for tonight. I'm tired, and I'm about to get off of work. Bye.

*Grammar Nazis, don't attack me. This is a very informal writing, and I know there are a lot of mistakes.*