Poem a Week?

I've been watching a lot of youtube lately. I've been watching new people and loving old people more every day. One of the new people I've been watching is Ryan Seiler (www.youtube.com/user/theryanseiler). He's been doing a song every day since about the middle of April. I think that's really cool. It's kind of like BEDA/VEDA, but with music. Anyway, I thought about doing a poem every day. Then I remembered how well BEDA worked out for me, and I started rethinking that idea. My new idea is a poem every week. I think I've generally been pretty consistent about writing in this at least once a week. Starting on the first Thursday in May and every Thursday after, I'm going to write a poem. It may not be a good poem. I'm not even going to promise more than a few lines. All I'm going to promise is a poem about something in my life. More than likely, it'll be a person. I know I got the idea from Ryan, but I've never felt more compelled to do something written before in my life. I'm going to try this out, but I'm not making any promises once again. One poem every week for the month of May, at least. The poem will be something brand new. It won't be something I've been working on the whole week. Ok. That's it for now. I'll be back next week with a poem for you :)

A Poem for Mary

This is a poem that I wrote for my friend Mary. She really deserves it right now. Love you girl!

A Poem for Mary

Such a beautiful girl
and even better friend.
She only deserves the best.
That guy was worth it
at the time,
but he no longer is.
Just take some time
and a deep breath.
A much too beautiful girl
to be so sad.
Call all your friends
and know we're always here for you.
Feel better soon, love.
I miss the smile
that used to light up your face.

Write Write Write

It's been a few days, but I'm writing again. I think August will be a good month. I'm going to England, and my best friends Mary and Maytha are coming to visit me. I'm super excited!

I'm so tired right now. I don't have the energy to do anything. I'm ready to go back to my room and sleep. I don't really have anything to worry about. I have to...

I stopped in the middle of this post. I don't remember what I was going to say though.

Good night world.

Douche

So Sean just texted me and was like, "Tomorrow's my birthday. I want to go out tonight to celebrate. Leg me know if you can go." I texted him back saying, "I can't go. I'm on call tonight. If I had been given more notice, I might have been able to work something out, but now there's not enough time." That's basically the story of my life right. Not enough time, that is. I just think it's funny that he thinks we're still friends. I haven't talked to him or anything since that last party. I don't even really think about him anymore. It really surprised me when he texted me just now. All I could think was, "what do these people want from me now?" when my phone went off. I then texted Carrie and told her. Her initial reaction was ewww. I love Carrie. Ok. I'm in the middle of a big project that's due today so I better go. Bye!

Part Deux
He texted me back. His answer was "That sucks I'm sorry we've just been so busy with everything going on I haven't been able to plan anything this was more of just a quick plan as i can actually have some kinda little get together for my bday i wish u could come..." That last line is the one that makes me mad! I wish you could come? Really? After the last party? After you forgot my birthday? He has no right to say those kinds of things to me anymore! I have a very strong dislike for him right now. I wish he would never have texted me about his birthday. I was planning on ignoring it just like he did mine. It's not fair. I hadn't even thought about him for weeks until the moment he texted me. It's like I knew it was over, but he hasn't gotten that yet. How has he not gotten that yet?

I'm going to deserve my week long vacation in England.

Today is my sorority birthday...

If I was still in the sorority. I'm not though so this is really just another day.

Another Day of Writing

Earlier today I started a blog post all about how great my week has been. Trust me. It has been a great week. I've been offered opportunities, and I have received great marks for my hard work in certain areas. For some reason, though, I don't feel like writing about those things. They are things I definitely want documented and saved here for all of eternity, but I just don't feel like writing about them. I guess I'll have to save those things for another day.

Instead, I feel like just writing. In my linguistics class, we've been talking a lot about language in general lately. We were all divided into groups, and the group that presented last week talked a little bit about the importance of letting kids write. I think it's a very important topic. However instead of boring you about why it's so important to let kids write, I'm just going to write.

I started a poem earlier today that I have yet to finish. (Today seems to be the day of unfinished things for me.) Luckily, I only started it within the last four hours (but really probably more like the last two) so I can't really be ridiculed for having had lots of time on it. It's about keeping your options open. It's about how we should listen to our hearts and choose the option that's right for us, but that we also have lots to learn from the choices that we make. It makes me think of Chris. He's been an inspiration to me a lot lately. I don't know why I can't just let him go. I can't wait until I get to go to England this summer for a week. I hope to see him. I hope to be able to talk to him and maybe restart where we left off. I know it's a long shot. For all I know, he's already gone off and found another girl that he loves very very much. I can't help but hope that he hasn't. I can't help but hope that maybe he still thinks of me as much as I think of him. Well, maybe not as much as I think of him because he has a real job where he can't really afford to get distracted like I can. Chris fills up a great deal of my day.

Chris is sometimes the only person that pushes me to get through my classes and work. I work so that I can make money and go back to England and hopefully see him. I work so that I can save money and move to England if he still wants me. I work so that I have money to start a new life in England with Chris if that's what we decide we both want. I go to class so that I have something to offer. I go to class so that I can be knowledgeable. I go to class so that I'm not a stereotypical Army girlfriend/wife. Chris is in the British Army. I want to be with Chris no matter his occupation. I want to be the one that marries him and has his kids. I don't want that now. It's something I want in the future. Right now all I want is him. I want to be the on that brings a smile to his face just by seeing my name on his mobile when I call or text. I want to be the one that he thinks of before he goes to bed and right when he wakes up. I want to be his inspiration to go to work and be a better man.

I know it seems like I'm obsessed. I might be a little bit. I never felt like things were really over between Chris and me. I guess I just hope that wherever Chris is, he still thinks of me and loves me. I just want him to be happy, and I want to be the one that makes him happy. Maybe I can find out when I go back to Grantham to find out. I just have to know how our story really ends.

Crap

Aw crap. I just barely missed yesterday. I'm a whole 30 minutes late. It sucks. I should tell you about Saturday though.

On Saturday, I took my PPR qualifier. PPR stands for Pedagogy and Professional Responsibilities. There were so many questions that I guessed on. I'm surprised I got through most of it. I had to reread some questions like 5 or 6 times just to know what they were talking asking. It was so nerve wracking. I should be getting my unofficial results in about a week. I'm really nervous about it. As long as I get at least a 75% on it, I can take my PPR TExES test. The TExES is the actual Texas teacher certification test. The EC-4 test is offered for the last time in August. My whole future literally depends on this test. It sucks. I really really hope I passed it. I'm going to start studying for my content qualifier. I haven't done that yet. I don't know how I feel about it, but I hope I do well. I thought I would be ok when I walked into the PPR, but I walked out with an "what did I just do" feeling. It's one of the worst feeling in the world when your whole future depends on one test. Words of encouragement?

PS I think BEDA is officially over. I think I'm going to do BAMF with Kristina Horner. It stands for Blog in April More Frequently. What do you think?

I Had a Dream Last Night

Lame. I really really thought that I posted yesterday. Apparently not. I do have something that I want to post for you today though. I'll talk about today tomorrow probably since it is a very IMPORTANT day. Anyway, it's a short story that kind of reads like a poem. It's called "I Had a Dream Last Night."

I had a dream last night. Well, maybe it wasn't a dream so much as my imagination running away with me. Who says imaginings have to be something completely different from dreams anyway? Anyway, back to my dream/imagining/whatever you want to call it.

I had a dream last night. Can you guess who was in it? Chris, of course! Who else haunts days and nights so frequently?

I had a dream last night. Chris was in it. Only this time instead of me leaving him, he brought us back together.

I had a dream last night. It ended completely different from any other dream I've had about Chris. I dreamed I was back in England. Chris saw me and tapped me on the shoulder. He said my name in a faint whisper. A whisper lighter than a feather's touch. "Megan," he said. "Is that really you?

I had a dream last night. Chris found me and couldn't believe his yes. "Yes, Chris," I said. "it's really me." I could hardly breathe.

I had a dream last night. Chris took my breath away. He took my breath away in five little words. "Do you still love me?"

I had a dream last night. I told Chris, "I never stopped." He took me in his arms and kissed me I could feel his love for me as though it ran through my own veins.

I had a dream last night. Chris told me he could never live without me He told me that he couldn't live without me in his life for one more day. He told me that he would always love me. I told him I would always need him.

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Chris and Megan lived happily ever after...together. Sometimes drams really are better than reality.

That is all for today. Good night.

BEDA days missed: 5
BEDA days replaced: 3

Last One Maybe

I just wanted to post one more thing up here. It's an e-mail I got earlier this week. I think you'll see the significance in a minute.

Megan,

CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve completed all requirements for admission into the Teacher Education Program.
Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions regarding your program. We wish you well as you continue in your education career.



Office of Student Support Services

College of Professional Education

That is all. It is dinner time now and then homework. Maybe I'll write more later :)

BEDA days missed: 4
BEDA days replaced: 3

Another One

Wow! I bet you guys didn't think that I would be halfway caught up on my BEDA posting did you? Well, neither did I, but I am really bored so write I shall do.

I"m trying to think of something that may actually interest someone if they were to read this. My life is actually really boring, but I enjoy it. I figure the more boring my life is, the less drama that can be involved. What do you think about that? I'm not a big fan of drama. I would really rather not get put in it if I can help it at all. Sometimes it happens though. Life happens. One of my friends Carrie and I have actually come up with a motto on how to live our lives. It's pretty simple. It doesn't take a lot to remember, and you have probably said it at least once in your life. it is this: What can you do? Not much.

Now I know it sounds very pessimistic, but it's actually quite hopeful in some ways as well. I like that fact that sometimes things are just out of your control. I don't know what another person's going to say or do. I can only control my response to them. Like earlier when I was telling you about my friend who kept texting and stressing me out. I may not have been completely honest with her. I just needed some time away from her. I controlled my response to her by not being honest. I mean, there's a lot I could be doing, but I am choosing not to do it at this time. I didn't know she would hound me for about 5-10 minutes before my class. I couldn't control that.

It's like when you're in class and your teacher gets mad because your cell phone goes off. What does he or she expect you to do? You didn't know that your cell phone would go off. You have no way of controlling who calls and/or texts you. You can help to lesson the situation by silencing it, but teachers can still hear that if the phone hits something in your bag.

Of course these situations can cause drama, but what can you do? Not much. It's almost like our motto gives you an excuse to place the blame on someone else which is something you should never do. You should always accept responsibility for your actions.

I know this has been kind of all over the place, but I just needed to write.

BEDA days missed: 4
*BEDA replacement posts: 2

*I've decided to change the last part of the BEDA counts because I can't really replace the day. I can only write a post that should have been written that day.

Why?

One things I have always wondered is why people think the world revolves around them. One of my friends missed a class that we share together yesterday because she's sick. She asked me to talk to the teacher, and I said I would. She kept texting me about it when she knew that I would be working on homework for that class. I tried doing homework and responding to her texts, but I had to work really hard on trying to do my homework. Then when I was in class today, she texted me again asking if I could talk to her later TODAY about what we did in the class yesterday. I told her no. If she needs to know about class that she needed to talk to the professor. Then she wrote back saying you don't even have 10 minutes to talk? I said no. Then she wrote saying she would have to figure it out on her own because the professor doesn't have office hours. I know she did it because she knows what a pushover I can be. I told her that I don't have time today, but I might be able to talk to her tomorrow. I know I probably do have time to talk to her about it later, but she shouldn't assume that I can be at her beck and call. I'm not her bitch to order around. One text is all it takes to answer a question. I know your defence is that she's sick. So what? I cried IN CLASS because I was so stressed out. I still made it there and did my homework. Did I happen to mention that I was also sick at the time? Not to mention that I hadn't eaten like at all yesterday either. Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that I was running on maybe 4.5 hours of sleep. Whatever.

I know I write about myself in this, but this is supposed to be about me. Any advice on how to handle this with her?

BEDA days missed: 4
BEDA days caught up: 1

My First Grade Teacher

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I realized that there are a lot of people in the world that deserve my eternal gratitude. I thought about being cliche and talking about my parents. However, I decided to go another route. One of the people who is most deserving of my thanks is my first grade teacher. She is the one who really got me to learn how to read. My kindergarten teacher just let me struggle, and I struggled with reading the whole year. My first grade teacher, though, went about reading in a completely different way from my kindergarten teacher. My K teacher focused more on whole language, which is what a lot of teachers now focus on as well. My first grade teacher did more with phonics. (As a future elementary teacher, I have learned that you need to incorporate both.) As soon as she started phonics, I gained a better understanding on what I needed to do in order to read. I know it sounds like she was just her job, but without her doing her job the way it's supposed to be done, I wouldn't be where I am today. I would probably be another Hispanic stereotype. Luckily, I did have her and now I'm going to be an elementary school teacher. My only hope is that I can help another child the way that she helped me.

BEDA days missed: 4 (Oops. I didn't realize I was already missing so many days!)
BEDA days caught up: 0

I like to keep you guessing :)

Ok. I know. I know. There's only half an hour left until the end of today. I almost missed another day! We all know how sad that would've been. I would really be surprised if anyone else reads this.

Anyway, I might have to let out a little angst today because I really really really REALLY dislike my POPs teacher. I could really care less about her class, and I wish she would just disappear. All my other teachers, I like. For whatever reason, the bad Dr. Rodriguez just is not my cup of tea. (By the way, she's the bad Dr. Rodriguez because I have two professors this semester called Dr. Rodriguez. The good and bad help me keep track of who I'm talking about.) She keeps switching deadlines on us. She makes up assignments whenever she wants. There are honestly times when I feel like she doesn't know what she's doing. I've tried talking to her, but it's to no avail. She just accuses me of being unprofessional. I could not be more professional if I showed up in a dress and heels. It really really sucks. This is so not a good week for me. The only highlight is that my social studies teacher moved the date of a quiz so that we could focus on another assignment. I keep misspelling assignment too. I don't know why. Good thing firefox has spell check. It's just really annoying. Things will work out the way they are supposed to though. I honestly believe that. Bad Dr. Rodriguez still needs to learn how to be organized though. She does not know what she's doing.

Well, I still have lots to do. I'll write more when I get a chance. It's time for linguistics homework. Yay. (Sarcasm.)

I'm going to keep track of how many days I miss from now on. That way I know how many extra blogs I need to do before the end of the month. I'll also keep track of how many I've made up, if any.

BEDA Days Missed: 2
BEDA Days Made Up: 0

Tiny Chickens Have Invaded

The tiny chickens have invaded my head. It really really sucks. I'm hoping they'll stop laying eggs soon. My head hurts, and I can't really breathe much so yeah. It really sucks. I feel all kinds of out of it just because the liquid eggs are coming out a lot. Probably more information that you really wanted to know, but oh well. I'm just being honest.

So I know that I said I was going to do BEDA this April. I also know that I've missed two days. Oops. I really have no excuse other than I've been really busy. I've had a lot of work and homework this first week of April. I'm going to try to make up for those two days by writing twice a day two days this month. I'm not really sure when, but you'll know.

I'm currently watching High School Musical 3, and I just want to say that Zac Efron is hot. I'm sorry. He is my celebrity crush, and he's singing a solo. Too bad it's about Vanessa Hudgens. I don't get why he likes her so much. Maybe if I knew her in person, I would understand the appeal, but I don't.

So what has been going on in my life lately? It has seemed to be going by in a blur. I can hardly believe that there's only like 6 weeks left in the semester. I sign up for fall classes on Friday. I take my practice PPR on Saturday. I guess I won't get to sleep in this weekend. I'll be lucky if I get to sleep in ever again, but that's a different post.

Ok. I'm going to go tend to the tiny chickens and watch HSM. Bye!

The Beginning of BEDA

So today is April 1st which means the beginning of BEDA. I said on here a while ago that I wanted to try to do this to improve my writing. I don't know if it'll actually work, but I'm trying it. Any feedback would be appreciated. I don't know what will be written here. It could be a story or a poem or a just whatever is going on in my life.

Today was a great day for me. I talked to my advisor, and I am staying on the EC-4 plan. I just have to be sure to pass all of my practice tests. I'm very excited! I'm going to the bookstore this weekend to get a practice book. I just have to send in some slides to my group and then go to the mall. Tomorrow should be a fun day. Not a lot going on, but I wanted to make sure I at least wrote on the first day.

Bye guys!